You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
