Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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