Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
