I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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