I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
