remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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