Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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