I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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