In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You smell like stripper and shame
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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