U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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