Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize