So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
