is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
