i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
they need to just BURY HIM!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
