That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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