i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
