did you get engaged???
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
