You really coming over, don't trick.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
