Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
