I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There r osticjed everywhere
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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