Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
