i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
