Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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