He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
