at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
