I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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