Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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