ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
