he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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