first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
