The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
