I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
