Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
