OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
