Rock
Scissors
Fuck
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
