the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
