I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
