There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
