I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
