He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
