Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
