it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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