i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
