fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize