Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
farters have to be the big spoon...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize