Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
