toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
