I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
