so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
