But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My friends, they love my intelligence
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
