I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
