You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
