that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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