I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
