i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
