I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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