Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
