wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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