i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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