Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
