My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
