I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize