I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
