Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
