It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
