Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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