do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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