there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
