Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
