Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
