I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
