Do you still have your period?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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