I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
