we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
